I ignored it, I hit the snooze button and went back to sleep.
It is I suppose human nature to forget the pain and the fear. The growth on my kidney, predicted to be 95% cancerous, turned out benign. The relief brought tears to my eyes. I was not going to die. I felt saved, in total ignorance of the salient facts:
- I was left with one kidney
- It was polycystic.
- My post op function was 23% and decreasing.
I have at the same time become sensitive to every nuance of health, wondering if this or that slight change is a sign of the coming end for without doubt the end is coming. At 17% function I have been counseled to look at the future scenarios, transplant, dialysis or death. The last is not negotiable - I haven't finished my novel yet.