pre operative musings

18/5 /2010 8:45pm

I’m sitting up in bed in the RAH writing this on my laptop for later transfer. I have a central venal catheter (hereinafter cvc) in my neck; right in the jugular. The process was painless but discomforting. A pillow is placed under the shoulders, the head thrown back and the head twisted sideways to expose the neck. Exposed is how it feels; like you’re the victim readied for countess Dracula in a classic vampire movie. Ultra-sound images display the underlying veins and marks are made to guide the placement and angel of the tube about to be inserted under local aesthetic .

Holding that position for thirty minutes is what is discomforting. I took the time to meditate, breathing slowly in blue world and counting the breaths, while hey anaesthetise, prod, poke, insert. The tube hanging out my neck giving my right side a somewhat Frankenstein’s monster look divides into three colour-coded leads: white, maroon and blue – purpose unknown.

One has been used already to take blood samples. It reminded me of the movie Dune - Baron Harkonnen’s playmate with the plugs in his arteries; lots of good material here for a ghoulish story. Except for a certain stiffness of neck that makes it hard to turn my head, I am feeling alright, however my blood pressure is elevated which suggest I may not be as relaxed as I imagine I am.

Felicity came in with me and her son Errol joined us later. Thankfully he is going to stay with her in the serviced apartment we’re renting - she would be frantic otherwise having to wait by herself and come in tomorrow. They left about 7pm to go for dinner (or tea, depending on where you hail from). She will back in the morning and on the table before me (as must happen).

I will be unable to forgive myself if anything untoward should befall her, anything at all, she does not deserve this she has been through more than enough already and though none of that was my fault - this is.

over the next few days (now that I have access again) I will add dated entries (most already written) until the experiental dates match the posted dates.

To be continued …….